I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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