My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
