I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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