I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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