Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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