glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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