he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
