ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
