What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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