Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
