she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
