Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
