Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
