If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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