u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
