I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
