You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
