I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
