I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
