Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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