We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
BRING THE BAGELS
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
