He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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