Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
