Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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