my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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