bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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