If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
