I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
