His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
