Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
