everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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