So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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