We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
