I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The adults are the big ones right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
