Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
