The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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