i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
