You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
