I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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