a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
