So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize