This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
