he thought i was a dude.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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