covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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