you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I would fuck him just for his dog
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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