do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
