I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
