On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
