I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
