Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
