Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
