And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
