Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
