i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
