I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
