He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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