You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
