He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
