So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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