exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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